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Most of the questions asked to sexual health experts are about men's early ejaculations and women's orgasm troubles. When you read this you may say: It's normal, if man is coming off quickly, woman couldn't have an orgasm! But if you really think for a few seconds, surprisingly, you won't see any relation between these two events. Because, a man if he is not a boor, will prepare his woman to reach her orgasm before his ejaculation. The other highly popular question is about the penis size! After all that porn movies many people are really confused. How and where to find such a prominent organ? What is the normal size? How thick and long can be the biggest? How small is acceptable for lovemaking? Every man's genital is different as his finger print and the role of the penis size in a happy and successful sexual relationship is not such important. At least you don't have to be such stupid to pay sack full money to programs, drugs or advice for making it bigger! Even with a huge organ a man's chance is very limited to make her achieve an orgasm if he is not a good lover and doesn't know proper sex techniques, most probably he will cause pain instead of pleasure. Even a man who has a miniscule dick may be a perfect lover! The only way is to learn how to make better love, how to be a better partner, instead of being paranoiacly distressed. This is normal and this is your body, love it and try to use it more creatively and with more love. Kiss and caress every part of your partner's body for long time, arouse her enough, and go down and give her a nice oral love... until she reaches the climax. Believe me, every woman loves and prefers such a talented lover in the place of a big dick entering a few times into your vagina before spurting out and then sleeping in his side as nothing happened! Naturally! Having a small organ is not a guilt, a crime, if he knows his body and has developed many better solutions he is absolutely a CLEVER man and a perfect lover! In regard to early ejaculations... This, also, is not a crime and if the man has not an organic disorder, may be corrected with some effort. But many men, instead of paying attention to their situation, act like early coming off doesn't make any difference in their sex life! Which may be true! Actually you may consider the natural disharmony between two genders. Men, by their nature, want to thrust into a hole when aroused and squirt in, that's all! But woman needs a prior preparation, a foreplay of at least 10-15 minutes to be concentrated and ready for insertion. One woman likes this position, another may choose that position, many women request clitoris stimulation besides men's thrusting... Many fatiguing services asked from men! And furthermore, if a serious and passionate relationship doesn't exist between partners, men are really exhausted in the bed. Is a natural error, an innate lack of harmony exists between men and women? Let see some different type of early comers: Type A: The worst. He doesn't even know he is an early comer. When he likes, he takes the woman under him and ejaculates. He doesn't care anything else! For the woman's orgasm? What is that? He hasn't heard anything about woman's orgasm! Type B: He knows about woman's orgasm but act like he doesn't know. Same of the Type A, he pulls the woman under and he comes off, the only difference, if by mistake or pain, woman makes a weak sound like "ah" he will suppose she reached an orgasm but for his comfort, he will never ask her the truth! Type C: He knows his disorder, he is sad and wants to visit a doctor but he is shamed or can't find the time to go! As a foreplay he kiss and caress her a little but he can't wait and comes off. 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Maureen Dowd was on Imus the other morning plugging her new book, “Are Men Necessary”; a book I plan to buy so I can get some slightly demented insight into the mind of a troubled woman. During the interview, Imus and his sidekick Charles challenged Ms. Dowd about a female perception she had just suggested that all heterosexual men froth at the mouth at the mere mention of a trip to a strip club or the possibility of a cat fight or the chance two women might lock in lesbian love making. Imus proclaimed that he, even amidst the weakness of lowly cocaine induced comas and vodka fed stupors, never stepped inside a topless joint. Charles nodded his head in brotherhood like the bobble-head doll he is sometimes. Their point being, not all men are beasts; that some have evolved above such shameful sexual servitude. A couple of things. First, Imus and Charles are probably lying through their coffee stained teeth about visiting strip clubs. Second, I have frequented such establishments years ago. I eventually concluded that go-go bars are places where prematurely balding, man-boobed, middle aged business men hire enterprising young shapely women, forming a convenient unholy alliance of distrust to tap into the cash cow created when injured fragile male egos are deceived by alcohol induced sexual fantasy. All the females need to do is squirm provocatively while whispering real sweet nothings into customers’ hair filled ears. And if carried out correctly, the dollars shoot out of the slobbering stooges like ATMs in gleeful male orgasm. Make no mistake about it; the dancer is always in control of the patron. And when she is not, she moves on to the next penis clad cash machine. The only cost to her is to turnover some obscene percentage of the take to her sleazy male boss. It’s a business after all, and business is still a male dominated endeavor. Third, if one has ever listened to Imus for more than an hour, one knows he and his cronies takes delight in sexually stereotyping and demeaning women. This idea that Charles and he are better than that is all part of the act. For instance, a few minutes further into the same interview, Imus commented on the “balls” it took for Maureen Dowd to write a particular op-ed piece about Judith Miller—a remark that she quickly and graciously accepted with a simple and sweet, “thank you”. Although I haven’t checked, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Ms. Dowd does not have testicles. So why was she so quick to acknowledge and accept what I’m guessing she felt was a compliment? I’m pretty sure that bravery, fearlessness, strength, and conviction—all nice attributes to have when kept in check by common sense—are not gender assigned. And I’m positive they are not a function of male genitalia. I’m equally convinced that reluctance, fearfulness, and weakness do not require one to have a vagina. It’s one thing, a very feeble thing at that, for Imus and his crew or even Jon Stewart and Al Franken for that matter—all professed non-chauvinists—to use male-centric language in an “equal opportunity” way; misguided into believing that somehow they are treating women and men equally. It is another thing though for Maureen Dowd to acknowledge and welcome her inclusion into the club. She could have simply said, “Imus are you suggesting that I have to be a man to be tough?” I am sure if asked Maureen Dowd would say without hesitation that she is a feminist or at least a proponent of feminist beliefs. Why then did she let Imus off the hook and indulge in the myth? Like many things about feminists, I don’t get it. They can be their own worst enemy from time to time—just like Democrats when they run a national campaign. Here is another example of something I don’t get. Why do some corporate feminists find short tight skirts, plunging necklines and push-up bras to be the business suit of choice? I suppose they might argue, just as strippers might, that they are simply using their power over men to get what they want. And on some level I understand that argument: play into the male need to be the sexual alpha dog as long as the targeted objective is personal gain. This attitude however strikes me as feeding the very stereotyping and sexism women want to end, which leads me into a short discussion of another dilemma I have with feminism. Within the last few years, I have been introduced to the forefront of feminist thought. Well not introduced exactly, more like pummeled. Here is what I have learned. I have something called. “white male privilege”. Essentially, whether I consciously or subconsciously acknowledge that privilege, it doesn’t matter. I have it and I need to “own it”. I’m pretty sure that means I have to fess up to it and wear it like a scarlet letter (although a white penis will do just fine). Believe me! I understand the importance of the concept. The dried blood tracking from my ears is proof positive of the difficulties and hard work it took me to reach that understanding. But that’s as far as the feminists have taken me. I’m afraid to tell them but it’s like a false crescendo. It can’t be the end of the symphony. Okay, so I “own” white male privilege. What next? There must be more. Am I supposed to give it up someday? Is it like owning an unregistered gun? Will there be a turn-in-your-white-male-privilege amnesty day? I’d be more than happy to if I just knew when, where and to whom? Or come to think of it, maybe not. What takes its place? Or worse, who gets it next? Gee, maybe I should take advantage of it more consciously while I still have it. Anyway, in the meantime, as I meander aimlessly, I’m going to refrain from saying stuff like, “Hey that Barbara Boxer, she sure has some pouch of brass nuggets on her.” I will also try to be more cognizant of this privilege I have and renounce it at every turn. It’s all I can do until I get further instructions. You know, I can’t help but think if reincarnation happens, I might want to come back as an earthworm. They have both the male and female sex organs. When they mate they impregnate each other. Everything is “even up”. And the result is that they are a pretty happy bunch. You don’t hear about earthworms having male/female issues. Okay so they have other issues—fish hooks being a big one. 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Textured technologies have their presence in everyday products, from steel body panels and bearings to book covers and quilted toilet paper. The desired surface texture can be achieved by a number of processes but each has disadvantages, limiting extensive introduction. Enduring crimps, coils, loops or other fine distortions along the lengths of the filaments are presented by a textured yarn, a constant filament yarn that has been treated. Heat setting in a twisted condition can texture the yarns manufactured from thermoplastic materials, while nonthermoplastic yarns can be textured by "air jet texturing" or "air texturing", wherein a forceful air flow is used to shape knotted loops in the filaments. The outcome will be a yarn with greater bulk, higher stretch and more beautiful properties. With the use of compressed air, air textured yarns are manufactured from thermoplastic, cellulosic or non-organic filament yarns. Air textured yarns are supplied a huge quality with loops created on the surface of the filament yarn. The loop arrangement, which relies on the material used, ends in a yarn with features like those of typical staple-fibre yarn. The manufactured yarns are used for sewing thread applications, apparel fabrics, fancy yarn articles, automotive interior fittings, and home furnishing fabrics, carpets, fire blankets and a variety of other applications. Let us now discuss major techniques used in texturing. . False-twist texturing . Texturing by a cold air-jet . Texturing by a hot air-jet and a stuffer box . Other marginal techniques. Most textured yarns are false twist textured. Following write-up will tell about false twisting and the reason why it has been such an incredible success. First it will deal with the real twist texturing and then concludes with a note of speeds that can be reached using false twist texturing. S and Z twist are different altogether S and Z twist means real twist in the yarn and they are poles apart from each other; at the same time there is little difference between them. One yarn has been twisted into the opposite direction of the other yarn. Essentially, one yarn reflects what other possesses. Since S-twisted yarn will look in a fabric unlike a Z-twisted yarn, this difference is very important. The "Real Twist" texturing principle Thermo structure of real twisted yarn is allowed by the thermoplastic properties of synthetic yarn. Back-twisting of this yarn creates twistless yarn, in which the helix formation of the previously resulted in a twistless yarn was still visible. It is a remarkable development that the clear crimps of genuine wool or cotton in each individual filament give this yarn a look of natural fibres. Stufferbox crimps the filaments and then cuts them into staple length and spins them on a traditional machine into a spun yarn, a procedure enabling a filament yarn to look like a spun yarn. This process saves the time spent after spinning filaments endlessly. The production steps are as follows: Twisting on (two for one) twisters Autoclave steam stetting Back twisting Cone winding The False-Twist texturing Just imagine that an elastic band is held between two clamps and then twist this band by turning it in the centre. You can notice real twist on left and right side. But each side is twisted into the opposite direction. One side is S, the other side is Z-twisted. Both sides have equal number of twists. All the twist will vanish on releasing the twisting point. This was 'false twist created by you. False twist principle is being applied by all contemporary texturing machines. Dynamics of false twisting Imagine a drawing with the yarn twisted into two twisted directions and try to visualize the yarn to be endless. Replace the fixed clamps with feed rolls. When the yarn is moved from left to right with the peg in the twisted yarn bundle, the twist on the right side would be moved and then would fade away but the left side would continue to be twisted. All false twist-texturing machines are based on this effect. A peg generates a definite twist stop, and therefore friction disks are better options, which execute the same and have the benefit of rotating the yarn. When the procedure is begun, the twisted yarn on the right side is removed to rubbish but the twist on the left hand side continues. If the yarn breaks, the twisted yarn on the left hand side also goes to trash. If the twist were counted in both wasted ends, it would be accurately the same but in the opposite twist direction. Miles of superior quality textured yarn is manufactured between the two waste ends. Reason behind the success of false twisting Real twist texturing was very time-consuming and laborious. With the launch of false twisting, the process speeds of twist texturing accelerated from a few meters per minute to production speeds of more than 1000 m/min. Bulked Continuous Filament Unbroken threads of nylon are created into yarn. These threads are texturised to enhance their bulk and to modify from straight into twisted or bent fibre. Twist You can make the carpet pile more flexible by winding each carpet fibre around itself. The carpet resistance against crushing, matting and changing of texture is in proportion to the tightness of twist. Heat Setting To process the fibre with heat, it is locked in the twist after it is twisted. The procedure will create carpet fibres, which cannot be disentangled or squeezed under heavy foot fabric. Tufting After getting fed through needles, the heat-set fibre is stitched or tufted into the primary carpet backing. Amount of yarn used and closeness of the tufts to one another determine the density of carpet. Dyeing The tufted carpet is soaked in liquid dye then processed with a fixation solution and dried. Here the needs on air interlacing depend on the technique of process. The 1-stage process, which is also called On-Line-Process and interlaces mono, duo, or tri-colour yarns, demands 30 to 40 hard knots per meter. These yarns are used directly in tufting. The 2-stage procedure, which is also called as Off-Line-Process, necessitates 15 to 25 soft knots for further processing in Heat Setting, Co-Mingling or Tufting. Air-Texturing This machine contains supply yarn creel, an appropriate winding head fixed with yarn transport together with an additional pair of feed rolls and an air jet interjected. Air texturing machines have two conventional categories: Machines with individual drives and Machines with headstock having motors, drives and shafts at each place. Since the machines are capable of treating large number of yarns and the each machine position can be fixed to manufacture a different yarn, machines with individual drives have become the standard in modern air jet technology. Aside from the few advances in winding technology used in air-texturing machinery and the technique of water application, the progress of air-texturing over the years has been relied on the growth of air-jet nozzle technology. Newer nozzles have led to the processing of a wider range of yarns at greater processing speeds, lower energy consumptions and lower noise levels. Fibreguide Ltd., England, has increased and developed its scope of single and multi-position interlacing air jets. The range now consists of 11 different air-jet types, including Detorque, Detorque with interlace and oil dispersion jets. In addition, the company offers a wide range of Interlace jets for the production of all types of continuous filament yarns, ranging from micro-denier yarns up to BCF and industrial applications. Low-noise jet enclosures have also been introduced to enhance the interlacing performances of the multi-position FG2M and FG10M air-jet units, as well as the individual FG4 Jet. Air texturing up to 1,000 m/min: the technology rise Unlike false twist texturing with the speeds of up to 1200 m/mn, the speeds of air texturing until now at about 400 m/mn, in some cases up to 500 m/mn, lagged clearly behind. This made gainful air texturing of fine yarn counts unable to go beyond 100 dtex till now. With the new jet core Series-S. Due to the well-researched geometry of the yarn channel, the speed of airflow through the jet could again be accelerated considerably. Texturing speeds could still be accelerated further because tests with developments in the circumstances close to the process and application of jet cores Series - S proved this. The primary manufacturing speed with Jet Cores S315 for core / effect operation with feeder yarns of dtex 22 - 250, is about 750 m/min, if a post heater is used to relax the unnecessary filament loops. Supplementary hot plates or heated godets before the jet, and a rise in the air pressure up to a maximum of 12 bar, facilitate further rise of the texturing speed up to 1,000 m/min. Yarns from S-cores display equally distributed loop formations and almost no propensity to flames. These yarns create a very smooth fabric look. From the very beginning, the S-Cores have been a hit and are in growing demand. In 1999 their share of Heberlein's total deliveries already reached 35%. S-Jets make possible both higher production speeds and enlargement of range of applications for air-textured yarns. Because of cost reasons, success already emerge in the fine yarn count segment wherein air textured yarns had no opportunity until now. Fashionable yarn mixtures are well recognized for ladies wear, sports wear and specialities for technical applications. Air-textured yarns with ease elasticity made from slightly stretchy feeder yarns are hot topics. Conclusion In the field of air interlacing, jets with better presentation can be anticipated. On one hand, they will fulfil the needs of accelerating process speeds, and on the other hand will take care of escalating process permanence. Opportunities are open for them to minimise a number of extra processing phases. Besides using compressed air, other means like steam will be applied because these will allow the beginning of necessary new consequences. In terms of air jet texturing, it is advisable that faster air texturing machinery will be offered to make use of the high-speed air texturing jets. Other than new machines themselves, supplementary parts like heating and higher compressed air source will have to be used to enable texturing speeds of more than 1,000 m/min. The high suppleness of the air texturing procedure helps individual drive units. Great attempts are exerted to minimise the cost per position, which is more likely with shaft machines, at this time. In the near future the recently reached speed level must be, first of all, converted into practice and process stability must be increased on these machines. Thanks to the high flexibility of the air texturing process with an application range from approx. 22 to 18,000 dtex, and the possibility to process practically all kinds of filament yarns, not to mention the great number of yarn combinations that are possible, further market expansion can be expected. The level of the market increase for air-textured yarns will depend considerably on the development of additional areas of end-uses. 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INSPIRATION AND PERSPIRATION! Ever thought of putting together a pinup calendar featuring hot guys enrolled at your college or university? Most people who think of creating a "Men of (Your) University" calendar assume that all they need to do is locate only 12 hunky college males and have them photographed. These tasks must be accomplished. But there's much more to publishing a calendar and many more than 12 college guys must be recruited. Besides recruiting, selecting, and training your student male models, there is production of the actual calendar, which includes photography, arranging graphic design and commercial printing. After the calendars are delivered, news media publicity must be arranged. Promotional events must be held. And, of course, your pinup calendar must be marketed! But, first, the best-looking campus guys at your university or college must be recruited. After a decade of publishing, recruiting of college men, the Campus Men Calendar operation has learned a great deal and refined its approach. So, here are the facts: GUYS WANT TO DO IT! There is a high demand to appear in pinup calendars of college men. Publishers should be able to choose from many college guys. Therefore, do not cater to, or try to convince any one college student to appear. Either they want to appear in your calendar or they do not! Students who need special handling often drag their feet and cause delays. Delays cost in potential sales. Therefore, students who expect you to cater to them, cost you sales. BEWARE OF GIRLFRIENDS! Beware of any college guy who involves his girlfriend into your operation. Why? Because girlfriends do not truly want their boyfriends to "model." 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Publish photographs of guys wearing suits, fully clothed or face shots only - and you will not be returning to the market with a calendar the second year. If you want to sell calendars, appeal to the sexual motivations of the viewer, whether through a cute smile, great face or body or skimpy clothing. Attempt to give the viewer a fantasy of what it is like to be intimate with the college student. You do not have to depict models fully nude with penis showing. Snug-fitting boxer briefs (or less) are just as exciting. Many guys will readily show their bare buttocks. By choosing students who are exhibitionists versus guys who are conservative, you give yourself valuable creative freedom when it comes time to photograph these college male models. Choose a male student who obsesses about which poses he will not pose for, versus choosing a young guy who is grateful for the opportunity you are offering, and you will undoubtedly find the production process more difficult. Remember, there are thousands of students enrolled at your university. Why choose the ones who do not care about your profitability? You will find that buyers will remark on the one or two provocative photos that appear in your finished calendar. "Skin" photos draw more e-mails and sell more copies. Campus Men learned this by accident. Gus Dakis posed for what our male model photographer calls a "miracle photograph" because the photo shoot was hastily put together due to bad weather. Gus and our photographer sped off to the photo shoot location and set up equipment as the rain still dripped from gutters around the pool house. Yet, once set up, there was still no sun, which was needed for the photograph. Gus stood in exact position under the showerhead and our photographer stood by with his camera, continuously measuring light readings. Just as they decided to wrap it up and go home without taking any photos, the sun fell below the clouds, engulfing the pool area in a beautiful, brilliant deep gold color. A half roll of film was snapped off before the sun fell beyond the horizon. Surprisingly, Gus' photograph, which was created in two and one-half minutes, became the most popular image in Campus Men that year and was responsible for many sales. Why? Because the photo depicted Gus in a pair of wet, white shorts that inadvertently became translucent because of the hectic pace of that day's photo shot. GO FOR A CAMPUS FEEL Design photographs with a collegiate or athletic feel to them, rather than "beach" themed photos. If people want to buy a beach theme calendar, they will buy the "Chippendales" calendar. Even the Chippendales calendar has changed to more "bedroom themes." Remember, buyers want YOUR calendar because it offers college guys. While college guys are seen on beaches only during Spring Break, one will usually find college guys on the school's quad, in a fraternity house, or playing sports. So, photograph your college men where buyers expect to see college guys. Plan imagery that brings college life to mind or portrays the college student as a sexy athlete. Remember, the successful theme of a calendars should be: "Here's what that athletic guy you passed on the quad looks like in bed." RECRUIT EXTENSIVELY Far more than 12 students must be recruited. Calendar production processes call for locating as many attractive males on your campus as possible. It is not usual to evaluate at least 125 college guys and as many as 500 during the entire process. If you want to organize a calendar, your goal should be to meet hundreds of hot college guys. A large number must be secured because the most important issue - other than quality of photographs - is timing of delivery. Delivering early in the sales season is very important. Calendars must be produced for delivery on June 1 of each year. This allows a seven-month selling season and allows featured college guys to talk up and sell calendars during the summer (when they have ample time to sell because they are not enrolled in classes; are usually home among family and friends). It also allows sales through national magazines, and allows the producers to reach incoming freshmen college guys visiting the campus during orientation sessions, held during June through August. This means the calendar also will be on store shelves in time for students who arrive back for the beginning of fall quarter and are seeking to decorate dorm or sorority room walls. Winter term is a poor time to recruit college guys because completing any activity takes more time due to cold weather. We cannot easily see what college guys look like because they cover themselves with clothing when outdoors. College guys generally stay indoors, become sedentary, gain weight, and do not have tans. If only 12 college guys are recruited, the operation can be delayed if even one student drops out or is dismissed. Recruit a large number of college guys because appearing in a calendar is not for everyone. We found that we had to screen all guys to select only those who are willing to pose nude or nearly nude. Why? Because college-oriented calendars are not the thing for timid or conservative young men. We have published many pinup calendars with varying degrees of provocativeness. Tame pinup calendars are nice. But, few buyers actually part with $15 to buy a boring male calendar. More risqué calendars have always been more popular in sales. WHAT TO LOOK FOR Here's what to look for in a college-guy model for a pinup calendar: • Outgoing, can sell calendars. Guys who like to talk to everyone and anyone • Muscular or defined body • Confident guys. Young men with self-esteem problems make problems for you. • Comfortable posing nude, uninhibited, the kind of guy who would skinny-dip for fun or go streaking at the drop of a hat Advertising did not bring in the "right" type of college guys. Many young men who are perfect for your calendar would never think of submitting their names to you. They must be invited. That is where student recruiters are valuable. Advertise for a team of students whose sole duty is to stop college guys on an informal basis. Advertising to locate recruiters can include classified ads, as well as fliers to sororities, career placement offices and dorms. Aim for at least three "hard core" recruiters, a Greek system recruiter and a minority representative. Recruiters need not be female. Guys can recruit and sometimes find it easier to approach other guys in gyms, classes and on the quad. Girls sometimes thinks asking a guy to pose is like asking him for a date. NUMBERS GAME About 60 percent of the college guys recruiters find will be acceptable. Of those students, 75 percent will accept an offer to appear. Therefore, to secure 22 acceptable college men, recruiters should locate 50 guys per calendar. Compensation to recruiters is a finder's fee paid for each "found" student who appears in the published calendar. Fees are payable only if the recruited student appears in the calendar. Do not pay a finder's fee if you do not select the college student to appear, if the college student declines your offer to appear, drops out before publication, or is dismissed for any reason. After a college guy applies to appear in a calendar (through a website), collect a bio or tape an interview with the individual. 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It used to be so easy. All you needed was a thick mane of tousled auburn locks, high cheekbones and a determined little chin; add an ounce of determination and an event from your past that haunts you still. Then, wham! You were the perfect fictional heroine. But now it’s not so simple. With television shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Ally McBeal, books like Bridget Jones’s Diary and Good in Bed, and movies like Miss Congeniality and Legally Blonde, we’re getting all sorts of mixed messages over how the ideal woman is supposed to be. What’s a modern girl who wants to hold herself up to impossible standards to do? Simple! Just follow these guidelines, and you’ll be as witty, complex and neurotic as the rest of them. In other words – you will be the perfect, modern-day fictional heroine. Step 1 – Be Flawed This step is super easy, because come on, we’re all already flawed anyway, right? Right! Except for one little catch. It is necessary to adopt the correct flaws, and these three are non-negotiable. 1.) You must be self-involved. This includes comparing your own petty personal problems to things like death, war, and injustice, and finding some sort of unique parallel no matter what the situation may be. It also includes having a constant inner dialogue with yourself where you point out these parallels with witty commentary. For example: “Even the news reminded me of him. Yesterday I saw this report that said routine circumcision in Africa could prevent 300,000 deaths in the next ten years. What a shocker! Chopping away at a guy’s penis could help eliminate pain, loss, and heart-ache. What will they think of next?” 2.) You must have issues with food. If you plan to be a television or movie heroine, this means that you cannot eat. Period. If you plan to be a book heroine, this means that you must eat all the time, except when you’re not eating, and then you should be thinking about eating. I strongly recommend the second option. 3.) You must become preoccupied with an unhealthy relationship. This includes but is not limited to, relationships with boyfriends, friends, mothers, fathers, roommates, and exes. Especially exes.(And make sure that your ex is dreamy, preferably with a new girlfriend who is in no way as good for him as you were.) Step 2 – Practice Retail Therapy Today’s modern day fictional heroine realizes one fundamental truth – that there is no problem too big or too small that cannot be remedied with shopping. Again, there is a catch; you need to be careful of what you go shopping for. Hard and fast rule – anything that’s practical or cheap is out. Other than that, I have provided you a list of approved shopping items, with the most highly recommended items on top, and continued in descending order: • Designer shoes • Designer beauty products • Designer chocolate • Designer purses • Designer lingerie • Anything else designer • Clothes (This is listed as the very last option because although clothes shopping can be a lot of fun, if you happen to have gone up a size, the blow to your ego will be so enormous that it will negate the therapeutic aspect of said retail therapy.) Step 3 – Have a purpose, deeply question it, then either accept it or abandon it to find a new purpose. Rather than go into unnecessary detail, I have created a handy-dandy chart. Just pick an option from each column and you’ll be good to go. Column A 1.You’re a (lawyer, publisher, or banker) and you love the power and money. 2.You’re a (doctor, policewoman, or writer) and you love changing lives. 3.You’re a stay-at-home mom and you love your family. 4.You’re all of the above, and you’ve never been so fulfilled! Column B 1.It’s all getting to be too much and nobody understands you. 2.None of it means anything anymore and nobody understands you. 3.You wish you could have some time for yourself, and why doesn’t anyone understand you? 4.Is this really what you set out to do? You did major in art history after all. Column C 1. After meeting the right guy, you decide to chuck it all and live overseas. 2. After falling back in love with the guy you’ve been with for years, you decide to start your own home-based greeting card company. 3. After realizing that the nerdy guy is actually the one for you, you return to your career with a new sense of purpose. 4. Who needs health insurance anyway? You decide to take some time off just to focus on you. Conclusion: So you see; it’s really not that hard for truth to imitate fiction. Gone are the days of walking moors, wearing corsets, and dying of consumption. Nowadays all you need is a little attitude thrown in with a barely noticeable social complex. So get your credit cards ready, preheat the oven for those brownies, and start living your life as if everyone can (and wants to) hear what you have to say. A new age has arrived!