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At the risk of insulting the nearly 8,700,000 residents of the Garden State, I should explain that I was raised along the Jersey shore. I graduated from Red Bank High and spent many summers at the Driftwood Beach Club in Sea Bright. But as soon as I could muster the courage, I left that overcrowded, haven for the Sopranos, behind in 1976, and moved to the desert resort community of Scottsdale, Arizona. It only took a few years to rid myself of the telltale Eastern accent and acclimate to sunny days, wide-open spaces, and toll-free roadways.
While I’ve only touched on some of the reasons I departed the home of cranberry bogs and Bruce Springsteen, suffice it to say I left also left my snow shovel in the garage when I sold the house and never looked back. After all, winters in Scottsdale average near 70 degrees. I did enjoy a few aspects of shore living but not enough to keep me there. But enough about that part of the country. This article is really about what makes us crazy. Being from NJ was a beginning, but not entirely responsible for my current disabled behavior.
I don’t remember much about the Jersey drivers but I imagine they can’t be much worse than what I encounter daily in the West. It amazes me how most got their licenses. Was there some sort of online exam they could take that I missed? What else could account for their immature, uncourteous, lack of skills, and common sense? How can someone drive with no apparent realization that there are actually other drivers on the road? How can they make unique turns, sudden stops, and disturbing instantaneous speed changes that defy most laws of physics? I’m obviously one of the only drivers not vision-impaired and somewhat conscious of most of the rules of the road. That’s some sort of disability in itself, if one is to survive the snarl of unending traffic.
Another problem I possess is the inability to express myself properly. The other day I pulled into a well-known, fast-food, place’s drive-thru and ordered my usual ‘chicken taco salad.’ I assume they heard me because they asked if I wanted “haormadsews” which I translated on prior trips to say, “hot-or-mild sauce.” I declined, as I always do, and picked up my order. As I pulled away, I peered into the bag to discover a cheeseburger with fries. Why would that include “haormadsews” anyway, I thought? Pulling back around, I now spent and additional twenty minutes going into the restaurant, waiting in line and finally getting my correct order. Instead of apologizing, the clerk inform me I must have said something that sounded like “cheeseburger.” To which I replied, “Chicken taco salad” could, if one were, say, Chinese, sound EXACTLY like “cheeseburger.” Chalk up disability number three.
I have to admit that I have a fourth disability that is equally troublesome: failure to recognize the true problem. I’ve purchased a variety of domains and hosting sites online and had numerous problems. When I call for technical support usually one of the following occurs. I wait on hold for 30 minutes to discover the office is closed and I’m invited to leave a number or visit their site for FAQ’s or technical assistance. I’ve left many messages, which were ignored, so I call back. Now I get a nice gentleman named Sabu in Bombay, India. Although he is quite polite, he has an accent that could bring Professor Henry Higgins to his knees. I ask him to repeat every answer many times and still can’t figure out what he’s saying. Eventually, I realize the futility of the situation and hang up. Then he sends an e-mail apologizing for the communication problem and detailing my real problem: my computer’s probably out of memory.
So I dash to my local computer dealer (another national chain) and they sell me more memory. Back home, nothing works. I return to the shop and they sell me a new hard drive. Home again, still no luck. Four hundred dollars and several other parts later, they tell me to get a whole new computer and no, they won’t give me a refund on the “used” parts they sold me just two days ago. So I bite the bullet, buy a new computer, but not from them, the greedy #$%@*!
So maybe this counts as disability five: the one where I can’t see when I’m getting taken to the cleaners and have “sucker” stamped on my forehead.
I have a plethora of other disabilities that cause me daily consternation: I’m stupid, at least according to some relatives (although I possess two degrees); cheap, according to e-mails offering penis enlargements that I won’t purchase; not financially smart, because I ignore all the refinance-your-mortgage offers I receive in the mail (even though I don’t have a mortgage); and ignorant, because I purchased a pathetic Civic instead of a hot Hummer and laugh about rising gas prices (it also helps that I work out of the home and hardly drive at all).
So, with all these disabilities, it’s hard to believe I can function at all. I must have no life or chose to be oblivious to everything that goes on around me. Yet, even with these flaws, I will continue to attempt to order salads and troubleshoot computer glitches. Did I forget to mention I just got back from the Post Office with a small package that was prepaid for a return? After the clerk got off the floor from laughing so hard at the two-dollar postage on the label, I just had to ask what was the matter. Then he then told me it would be another five dollars and what the heck was I thinking? That’s about par for the course, I reckon.
That said, I still will not allow a few behavioral problems to keep me from my daily functions. So join with me in my crusade to overcome our disabilities and strive for our survival. In my particular case, it’s my way of saying to the world, “even though I’m from Jersey, I can take everything you can dish out!”
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penis enlagement video
You will learn here how to find the G-spot with your partner, and once finding it, use of a special sexual position to stimulate it, and bring her quickly to climax after climax (once you learn the technique).
To find the G-spot, you need to know what it is, where it is located, and how to identify it.
What is the G Spot
The G-spot is named after the German doctor (a gynecologist) Ernst Graftenburg.
It is an area inside the vagina, on its front wall.
When this area is stimulated with the correct pressure it often evokes an orgasm. You can locate it as it corresponds to the area where the urethra is nearest to the top of the vaginal wall. The urethra is the opening where a woman urinates.
Finding the G spot
There are several opinions to exactly where the G-spot is, and indeed it varies from woman to woman. You can be sure however that is somewhere from the urethral opening on to the termination of the vagina.
Using one or two fingers, insert them inside your partner’s vagina, touching the top of the vaginal wall. You will feel a lattice-work of muscle tissue, and somewhere in that lattice is the real G-spot. Be very careful how you touch it. Too little pressure and your partner will feel nothing. Too much pressure and she will experience an unpleasant pain.
pleasuring the G Spot
Once you have located it, you have three methods to employ it to pleasure your partner.
The first method is while performing cunnilingus re-insert two fingers and apply a steady and firm (but not rough) pressure to the G-spot. After about 20 minutes of cunnilingus, and pressure, your partner should experience a steady and strong orgasm.
The second method is by intercourse, with the man laying on his back and woman mounted on top. The man needs do nothing at all, just have an erection and let the woman move and she will press her own G-spot against the man’s penis. Orgasm is assured.
The third method is a sexual position known as Kneel and Heels. The woman lays on her back, with the man sitting on his thighs in front of her.
The woman will place her heels on the man’s chest with her legs slightly apart. The man then penetrates the woman, and does not move or thrust, but rather leans back a bit, insuring his penis is firmly touching the vaginal wall.
The woman rather wiggles and undulates. The man’s penis will be in an upward tilt and pressing against the G-spot. After some minutes, the woman will experience a strong orgasm, as the same position also stimulates the clitoris.
It must be remembered that to stimulate the G-spot one must apply both intense and constant local pressure in unison.
The man simply thrusting is not effective in this case. I
If the man can hold on long enough, his partner will experience an orgasm that is both deep and long-lasting.
An interesting variation in sexual position is known as the Horse position.
The woman is lying down on her back with the man standing. Again her heels are pressed to the man’s chest, and he can penetrate and instead of trusting, he simply moves with his penis fully inserted into the vagina.
The experienced man can understand where the G-spot is, and a firm and constant pressure brings the desired result.
For more interesting and informative sexual health issues, please see www.net-planet.org
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Too many women are inclined to forget that they have feet until something happens to call their attention to them. A beautifully formed foot is as charming to the eye as a beautifully shaped hand. Every woman should have a knowledge of the practical facts which make for her physical beauty.
Shoes have much to do with preserving or distorting the natural foot outline, and in this connection several practical facts should be remembered. First, that every woman's shoe should be broad enough to let her toes rest flatly and naturally on the sole. Second, that a low heel throws the weight of the body on the instep. If you feel that broken arches are a slight penalty to pay for tottering about with the silly helplessness of a footbound Chinese woman of the old type, by all means wear highheeled shoes.
If you will have "French" heels — and to the average man a woman looks ridiculous in them, though politeness bid him disguise his feelings — there is nothing more to be said. Do not wear old shoes about the house. They will make your feet shapeless. The dyes in cheap stockings often run. If you have a slight skin abrasion or a cut, you may get blood poisoning. Hence pay more for your stockings (silk, lisle or silk and wool) rather than risk infection.
FOOT MANICURING
Always cut your toenails straight across, using a nail clip, or nail scissors. Ingrown nails always result from cutting away the corners of the nail which support its forward part. If you smooth the nail edges with emery, a good deal of darning will be saved.
FOOT AILMENTS
Calluses.—Calluses very often develop on the sole of the foot. They also form on the toes, where they turn into hard corns, or between the toes, where they become soft ones, and are capable of causing severe pain. Like bunions, flat feet and fallen arches, calluses and corns are a logical result of the wearing of tight or ill fitting shoes.
Good corn plasters give relief. There are also good acid solutions for corns, but they must be applied to the hard skin of the corn only. It is best, however, to have a good chiropodist remove corns, since he is able to take out their core. The "vascular" corn (made up of small blood vessels), which is less common, should always be taken out by a chiropodist.
Bunions.—Bunions are beyond proper home treatment. They are produced by pressure on the big toe, causing inflammation of the second toe joint. A preliminary callus turns into enlargement of the joint, and, in many cases, motives much suffering, and inability to wear a shoe. If the shoe pressure which causes the bunion be removed, the callus will disappear, but not necessarily the bunion. When bunions are long standing it is not always possible to cure them permanently. A bunion should at once be referred to a chiropodist.
Ingrowing Nails.—Their origin has already been mentioned. Treatment should consist in bathing in hot water, then raising the injured portion of the nail, and inserting pieces of lint or absorbent cotton as an artificial support. Then scrape the nail longitudinally. The lint or cotton support must be renewed from time to time, until the nail has reverted to normal. If a proud flesh condition has developed it will be best to go at once to the chiropodist, instead of attempting a cure yourself.
Flat and Fallen Arches.—Both these foot troubles are beyond any home treatment. Fallen arches, once they have definitely dropped, cannot be completely cured. Both diseases, in most cases,result from improper footwear, high heels, and shoes wrongly balanced, and each and every case usually needs individual treatment.
Chilblains.—Chilblains, one of the most common of foot disorders, can usually be cured at home. It comes from cold or frost, and does not start in feet which have a good blood circulation. Soaking the feet in hot water, rubbing and massaging with warm spirits of rosemary and turpentine, and exercise are the remedies. Exercise, especially, restores the circulation, and alleviates the redness, the burning feeling and the intolerable itching which are the signs of the ailment.
FOOT PERSPIRATION AND PERSPIRATION IN GENERAL
Foot Perspiration.—Perspiration we associate more directly and more perceptibly with the feet than any other part of the body. There is a reason. There are more perspiration glands in the feet than anywhere else on the body, save in the palms of the hands. Daily bathing, night and morning, is the best preventive of excessive foot perspiration. It is well, when you are thus troubled, to add a little alum to the water (it should be warm), and after drying to powder the feet with boracic powder. Or, if you prefer, use a soothing lotion for "feet that are weary" and perspiring, made up of equal parts of alcohol and witch hazel. Hot water, however, is a sovereign specific for all sweaty feet.
Perspiration in General.—We are perspiring all the time. Our perspiration glands are constantly throwing off the waste matter of the body, and bathing serves the double purpose of keeping the pores open so that this matter may be discharged, and removing it in order that no disagreeable odors result from its presence. The soles of the feet, the armpits, at times the forehead, chest, and neck are perspiration centers.
Perspiration is usually not excessive when a woman is in good general health, or when it is not a result of violent exercise or unusual temperature conditions. But when it is habitual and unchecked it robs a young woman or girl of all that charm of daintiness and appeal which is her right and privilege. There is no odor more immediately and more resentfully noticed than that of dried perspiration. It clings not only to the body, but to the clothes. Perfumes and scented powders do not hide it, and it always awakens disgust.
Frequent bathing, frequent change of undergarments and stockings, and a free use of talcum powder or "odorono" are all indicated. Never imagine that the use of talcum instead of soap and water will do away with this unhappy scent. After washing, always and invariably after washing, is powder to be used. The poet has coined the phrase "honest sweat." But there is no such thing as "honest sweat" in feminine beauty's bright lexicon of charm. Perspiration, especially at evening affairs, dances, etc., steals away that natural freshness and fragrance of aura which should surround woman.
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If you have a watery, painful blister on your skin, mouth, lips or genitals, it may be time to pay your doctor a visit. It may be just a minor infection, but it could also be a dreaded cold sore, more popularly known by the term herpes simplex virus or HSV.
HSV is very contagious, especially when it has just been contracted and the first symptoms are only beginning to make themselves known. The most distressing thing about this horrible health disorder is that there is no cure. If you get cold sores, you will be carrying them around the rest of your life like luggage.
Cold sores come by many names, including Night Fever and Fever Blister. They are sometimes mistaken for canker sores (Apthous ulcers) because they have the same appearance and show themselves frequently on the inside of the mouth. The difference is that canker sores are not caused by the herpes simplex. If your doctor told you that you have canker sores instead of cold sores, you should thank your lucky stars.
There are many other symptoms of HSV aside from cold sores. These include skin irritations, clusters of blisters in different parts of your body and lesions that leave no scars when they heal.
The cold sore lesions often appear around the genital area in men and also around the buttocks or anus, inner thigh or on the shaft of the penis. In women, the lesions can usually be found on or near the pubis, vulva, labia, clitoris, anus or buttocks. Sometimes, they are not obvious to the eye and at other times, you can’t miss them when they’re there.
Cold sores look different from individual to individual. Often, they appear to be blisters, especially in the genital area, but they also sometimes appear to be a yeast infection or a bad case of chafing.
Aside form the signs that you see around your body, cold sores are also characterized by a general ache all over your body and a bit of pain in the genital area, discomfort or pain during urination and discharges from the penis or vagina. There may also be flu-like symptoms that last for a week. Outbreaks usually come four or five times a year.
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Have you ever noticed that one physical attribute almost all women featured in billboards or magazine covers and spreads have in common? Yes, they all have well-endowed breasts, may it be natural or artificially enhanced. Indeed, marketing and promotional materials for liquors, cigarettes, and condoms usually seem to be lacking without the presence of nubile starlets, with gigantic breasts and in lingerie. This is the reason women who are flat-chested are dreaming of undergoing breast enlargement procedure that can instantly uplift their worth in the mammary asset department. Surprisingly, even women who already have relatively endowed chests are seeking the help of science in further improving their breast sizes. To this date, many women turn to breast enlargement pill with high hopes of achieving breasts big enough to fill the cup size of their fantasies. It doesn't matter to some of these women if they have to spend a fortune just to have breasts humongous enough to rival that of Dolly Parton or Baywatch babe, Pamela Anderson.
Both real and online markets nowadays are teeming with breast enlargement products promising attractive, sex symbol-like boobs. From breast augmentation and 'magic' creams to pills, a woman can choose among various boob-enhancing procedures and methods depending on their preference and budget. There are also several reasons why a particular woman wishes to improve her breast size but most of the time, every reason is brought about by the need to look and feel good. A desperate wife of a rich but philandering husband, for example, may want to enhance her breasts to lure her husband away from committing extra-marital affairs. The woman probably believes that once she had her breasts surgically enhanced, her husband will see her in a different light: someone who is just as exciting and desirable as the younger sexy women. An aspiring model may also subject herself to medical produces to 'vulcanize' her breasts. She may think having extra big and luscious breasts mean improving her chances of getting noticed by advertising agencies as well.
A question pertaining to possible health complications is probably the most popular query a woman asks her doctor before subjecting her boobs to breast enlargement surgery. There are several women who wish to augment their breasts but are only too worried of hazardous side effects which may include excessive bleeding, infections, hematoma, or even breast cancer. Women who undergo surgical procedures should also expect certain amounts of pain in the process even if doctors use anesthesia. It is no wonder some women opt for the breast enlargement pill as a cheaper and painless alternative. But pills may not produce results as effective and as fast as surgeries can.
