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The internet was just born and already it has 6 billion websites, one for every person on Earth today. Human beings are obsessed with writing and even more obsessed with Paris Hilton, the number one search on the internet. Lets get to know a little about our modern day Aphrodite aka Venus, the Goddess of Love, Beauty and Sex worshipped by the Greek and Roman people 4 thousand years ago. Paris Hilton proves once again that sex sells both hamburgers and religion. The Greek Goddess Aphrodite Festival is called the Aphrodisiac, which was celebrated all over Greece especially in Athens and Corinth. Christina Onassis was the heiress of Aristotle Onassis the Greek shipping billionaire. We are talking real money here. Christina was Aristotle’s only living child, a real heiress, like Jennifer Gates, 9, and Phoebe Gates, 3, the two daughters of the world’s richest man, send me the Bill Gates, at $51 billion dollars and counting. Bill and Melinda French of Dallas Texas have given so much money to charity that they have completely eradicated poverty in Africa. Paris Hilton, if she is lucky enough to make it into her grandfather’s will will be lucky to inherit one million dollars. The One with the money, Paris’ great grandfather Conrad Hilton, (whose son Nicky was the first husband of Elizabeth Taylor), left the grand total of nothing to his 4 children. He married his third wife at 87 and then left his entire fortune to the Catholic Church. Paris’ grandfather Barron Hilton went to court to contest the will and he won, becoming the first person ever to defeat the Vatican in court, walking away with a few hundred million. He has 8 kids. They have kids. Paris’ slice of the pie could be $200,000, walking around money for the Sultan of Brunei, whose oil fields America is now spending its blood to protect. That is hot – not. Being an heiress is normally a mirage, as Christina Onassis can testify to. Have you ever noticed how many pop icons cash in on Jesus’ story right in their names? It’s like people’s minds are like search engines responding either positively or negatively to certain keywords like Paris Hilton. Madonna, the Virgin Mary, Christ Ina Aguilera, Britney Spears, I have a pain in my side, said Jesus. Is that a spear in my ribcage or are you just happy to see me? Jesus Christ was a Jewish Rabbi painted by the Greek New Testament writers with the Godlike qualities of the Greek Goddess Eurynome and Bellerophon and his flying horse Pegasus and several other Greek deities. You can read all about it at The Temple of Love. 20 million Christian and Jewish children lost their lives in WW2 aka The War Against the Jews because according to stories which God of Mount Sinai aka Jesus aka Allah aka Elohim Himself endlessly calls man made legends and fairy tales right in the Holy Bibles, the Jewish people killed this half real half fictitious character 2,000 years ago in Jerusalem. Humans have a problem separating fact from fiction. At least Paris Hilton is a real person. I’ve seen her. I’ve touched her. I’ve kissed her. Her lips are as candy. Her legs are as ladders. Sex sells. Paris Hilton was a nobody, an extra in a series of B movies until the videotape of her coiting Rick Salomon in “1 Night in Paris” showed up on the internet last year at the same time that The Simple Life debuted. People are fascinated by infamy. Did you know that the male cat’s penis has spines which point backwards? Upon withdrawal of the penis the spikes rake the walls of the female’s vagina. The female needs this stimulation for ovulation to begin. Paris Hilton, outraged over the release of the video, raked in $400,000 plus a percentage of the profits of the film which shot her to super stardom. Without that video Paris Hilton is serving cocktails at Studio 54 today instead of dancing on the bar topless with the world’s media murdering each other for a snapshot of Paris Hilton half nude. Paris Whitney Hilton was named after Whitney Houston because her name wasn’t famous enough. During the Aphrodite Festival, the Aphrodisiac, in Corinth Greece, the men had intercourse with the Priestesses of Aphrodite. This was considered a method of worshipping Aphrodite. What did you get for Christmas? In the Holy Temple in Jerusalem the Priests lured the people in with The Temple Prostitutes who lived in the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. King Solomon who built the Holy Temple had 900 wives, concubines and mistresses. Compared to him Jesus was a mere piker with his Mary Magdalene and a few of her girlfriends. Do you hear what I’m saying girlfriend? At least Paris Hilton is a real person. Aphrodite was born as an 18 year old Paris Hilton in the Sea off of Cyprus after Cronus cut off Uranus’ genitals and the elder God’s blood and semen dropped on the Sea where they began to foam. Aphrodite rose out of the foam in her 18 year old birthday suit. When did people become so prudish? Going wild over 1 Night in Paris? 4,000 years ago mating with hookers in the Temple was normal. In 1879 William-Adolphe Bouguereau painted the Birth of Venus, (Venus was Aphrodite’s Roman name), which showed the full face on nude 18 year old Aphrodite being born rising from the sea foam. How did Hugh Hefner get to be called risqué? And where did all the paintings and likenesses of Jesus come from? There isn’t one single word of description of Jesus in the Holy Bible or anywhere else. Sex sold religion then and it still sells it today. The Las Vegas Hilton boasts the world’s largest free standing sign, “Welcome Idiots”. The hijackers on 911 fully expected to hit the twin towers then immediately wake up in eternal paradise with 72 virgins and wine with no side effects, because they read it in their Bible. Lot, the only righteous man in sin city, (Tony the Ant came in second) Sodom and Gomorrah was saved by God and rewarded with wine and sex with his two virgin daughters. Oscar Goodman, the mayor of Las Vegas with 85% of the vote was the mob’s lawyer who represented Meyer Lansky, Ace Rosenthal, Tony the Ant and corrupt San Diego mayor Roger Hedgecock to get the job. He recently said on Television, “Those who deface freeways with graffiti should have their thumbs cut off on Television.” Violence sells too. At least Paris Hilton is real. penis girth enlargment cheap pnis enlargement penis elargement surgery photo penis enlarement procedure best enlargement exercise penis vimax home penis enlargement pro solution review permanent penis enlargment
Too many men look at their penis as a separate entity instead of a functioning and necessary part of their body. Your penis if you wish it to perform on command must stay healthy. Besides having regular sex not only for the health of your penis but your body, you should also remember to keep the rest of your body in tip-top shape to ensure that your penis is getting all the blood flow, nutrients, and oxygen it needs. In order to do this you should use this guideline for a healthy body and healthy penis. Eating Healthy You should eat five or more servings of fruits and vegetables per day and eat items with less saturated fat. Eating well-balanced meals can keep your weight where it should be and provide your body with the necessary vitamins and nutrients it needs to function properly including your penis. Exercise Exercise is an important part of maintaining proper weight for your height. Sex is one great exercise that burns more calories than most other exercise and is of course a lot more fun. Being overweight can cause all kinds of health problems and can affect your sexual activities. Obesity leads to diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke. In addition, if you are really overweight you may not be able to perform sexually, since you will more than likely not have enough energy to enjoy a sex session. The doctors recommend that physical activity promote many healthy benefits such as gets the heart pumping blood and oxygen flowing throughout your body. In order for your penis to stay healthy, it requires blood and oxygen. However, instead of running a mile or two when it is freezing outside, jump in bed with your partner. A 20-minute sex session will also increase your heart rate, blood flow and give you a feeling of well-being. Quit Smoking! Smoking is associated with lung cancer and heart disease. You need your heart and lungs to function properly and provide your penis with the blood flow it needs to have those rock hard erections. Manage your stress Did you know that sex could also aid with stress related situations in some cases? Sex is also a great antidepressant. Next time you feel stressed or anxious, do not run to the medicine cabinet to pop a pill, jump in your partners arms. Try a more natural way of reducing stress and depression than medication. Of course, sex will not eliminate all of the problems that you may encounter in your life but it will not hurt you and it could help you in more than ways than you can imagine. Keep your body healthy so your penis will be healthy. Your body and your penis work hand in hand to maintain a healthy body. To be sure, that your penis is actually receiving adequate blood flow you can also begin a penis enlargement program, the exercises that can be used also help with other healthy issues besides the size of your penis. penis enlargment photo penile enlargement pills review home penile enlargment free pnis enlargement technique easy enlargment free penile surgery way penis enlarement system penile enlargement operation natural penis enhancement exercise penis enlagement traction device
I really don’t know how to say this any other way. My dog decided to talk to me the other night and he had a lot to say. It initially played like any other night really. Once again, I was tossing and turning, in and out of sleep. I was half awake, mulling over my job situation: I want to make money writing but I need an income more. Then the most bizarre thing happened. “Hey human Bob! This is your best friend speaking! Wake up!” Who the hell was that? It was a deep, low voice; strong and certain with a hint of a bourbon induced slur. Sounded like Dean Martin actually. I immediately sat up. It was pitch black. The radio clock blurred 3:53 in a dull crimson light. All I could make out was the shadowy outline of Parker, my trusty beagle, sitting upright at my feet. “Hey boy, did you hear that?” I whispered instinctively. “Someone’s in the house.” My vision was starting to warm up to the darkness. Parker just stared back at me, his head tilted, his long ears hanging to the side of his head like hand towels on a wall. He turned his head to the bedroom doorway, lifted his nose to the night and sniffed. He turned back to face me. “Don’t think so.” I swore Parker spoke but it couldn’t be. I mean his hound drawn lips seemed to move to the words I heard but that was impossible. “Who’s there?” I yelled into the night. “Whoever it is, I am warning you that I am at this moment retrieving my loaded double-barrel twelve gauge from under the bed. I will shoot you. So leave now and I want to hear the door slam behind you.” I made some dumb noises in a lame attempt to fool the intruder into believing what I had just proclaimed. I took the ruse to the next level. “Okay. I’m fully armed and about to call 911 from my fully powered cell phone. Oh yeah, strong signal, four bars. Oh yeah, this is going to be a very clear 911 call.” “You’re breaking me up. Put the phone down human Bob.” It was Parker talking. I was certain of it. Nah, it had to be a sick trick. “Okay, good one Steve. You wired up the dog with a little speaker. Very funny.” My brother Steve was known to go to great lengths to pull off pranks. But I was pretty sure he was at his apartment in the city, sixty miles away, God knows doing what, and at 48 years old, unlikely to suddenly bother me with a prank—it had been 25 years since his last one. But the mind scrambles to the most implausible scenarios when so duly challenged. “Don’t think so. Nope it’s me, Parker,” the dog mumbled. I was positive he spoke again. By now I was sitting straight up, leaning towards him. He just sat there and looked at me with those big dark eyes. His poker face was on. “Parker? Are you talking to me?” “Well I’m not talking to myself.” I leaned back against the headboard. He yawned. “This can’t be. I’ve got to stop watching Animal Planet.” “Listen, I’ve got something to say and I’m not sure how long this talking stuff is going to work so …” “You are talking!” I interrupted incredulously. “Should you want I bow wow?” “Holy cow! Parker you are talking.” “Yup. But I’m not sure for how long. So can I say a few things before …” “I can’t believe this.” “Yeah I know. Either can I but if you don’t mind.” I looked at him with a giant smile plastered across my face. Parker can talk. The dog was talking. Who was I kidding? It had to be a prank. He continued. “I’ve been listening to a lot of that talk radio and that C-SPAN channel you watch while you write. I’m here to tell ya I don’t like what I’m hearing.” “You’re kidding me right?” “Afraid not.” Oh this was good. I was really hallucinating. Talk-shmalk, I had a few nagging questions of my own. “Hey, can I ask you something before you get to your stuff?” “Make it quick. I haven’t got all night.” “You like smell things a hundred times more than we do, right?” “Four hundred.” “Okay, four hundred. Wow! Then I really wonder about this.” “Yeah I know. Why do we like to sniff every morsel of excrement or yellow patch of urine we encounter on our walks?” “Now that you bring it up, yeah, why? It must smell like the inside of Dick Cheney’s or Ted Kennedy’s septic tank? And you know how much crap they’re filled with.” “That was a funny one human Bob. But it isn’t like what you smell. We pick up a lot more notes. It’s a broader pallet if you will. We don’t smell stink. We smell identity, mood, and illness. For instance, you know that crazy cairn terrier down the street?” “Yeah.” “She has stomach cancer and her humans don’t have a clue.” “You are kidding me?” “She probably has less than six months if they don’t get her to a vet soon.” He paused to lick his right front paw. “Yeah, and another thing. Don’t take me out at nights for awhile.” “Why?” “Cause there is a rabid possum living under the porch. That’s why.” “You know this from the smell of possum poop?” “Excrement.” “Whatever.” “Yup.” Parker yawned as if bored. “So is that it? Can I say what I need to say?” “Well there is that thing you do with that licking your, you know, your …” “Penis?” “Well, yeah.” “Jealous are we?” “Well, it’s just that …” “It’s all about keeping clean. Nothing pleasurable if that’s what you’re driving at. Nothing like what you do with your hand. By the way, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t pet me afterwards. Nope, no pleasure; it’s all business. You made sure of that when you had me “fixed”, remember. Thank you very much.” “Oh yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea you knew any different.” “No idea my butt. I’ll ‘no idea’ ya.” He paused again to lick his right paw again and then continued. “But I don’t hold it against you. We don’t hold grudges. Heck, if we did, we would have mauled most humans dead by now. Which brings me to why I am talking to you.” “No grudges. Really? I mean that “fixing” stuff is pretty serious. That’s pretty good if that doesn’t bother you.” “You done? Can I get to my concern?” “Sure. Sorry. Go ahead.” “How can humans be so smart supposedly, while they single handedly are destroying the Earth?” “You mean global warming?” “It’s more than that. It’s the air. It’s the water. It’s the dirt. It’s the forests. It’s the killing. It’s the anger. It’s the hate. It’s the grudges. It’s the fear. It’s everything.” “Oh come on. You’re being a little dramatic.” “We don’t know dramatic.” “Well give me examples of what you mean.” “First of all, the air is filled with danger. Dogs, cats, birds, animals of all kinds can smell it. It is our biggest topic when we get together.” “I don’t smell a thing.” “Yeah, that’s part of the problem. And you can’t taste the troubled water either.” “Scientists don’t seem to be complaining. So I should be listening to a dog?” “We have no agenda. Dogs call it as they smell it.” “ ‘call it as they smell it’; I’m suppose to just accept that?” “Yeah, there is a lot you should just accept.” “Oh yeah, like what else?” “Well, and here is what I think is the crux of the problem, you keep choosing the wrong alpha humans.” “What?” “You’ve got this alpha thing all wrong. Just because animals order their packs based on physical size and strength doesn’t make it so for humans. We do it because we are simple. You do it because you are thoughtless. That’s what we, and I think it is fair to say I am speaking for all animals, don’t get. Humans are able to think things through. But they never do. Well, that’s not completely true; some have but they are mocked or marginalized. An alpha dog barks and gets all puffy, like that wacky shepherd Sarge from around the block. The worst he can do is break out of his electronic fence and charge one of us. But you humans take it up a notch.” “Can you give me a for instance?” “God there are so many. Let me see. Okay, you’ve elected a president who pounds his chest and walks around like a gorilla with its arms all out to the side, all tough and all, carrying on with ‘bring it on’. When he jumps the fence, he brings tanks and bombs and humans loaded down in weapons and in body armor. Meanwhile, you have alpha males all over the place, flexing their muscle in their packs, threatening to obtain nuclear weapons, the great equalizer, giving the president one excuse after another to hop the fence. It’s nuts. And I for one am telling you, you’ve got it all wrong.” “Well, I don’t know what to say.” “You don’t need to say anything. Just start picking the right alpha humans; humans whose visions see beyond fighting, whose hearts hold no grudges, whose thoughts and reasons are not the products of testosterone, whose collective knowledge is rooted in the concept that true peace is never the consequence of war but the outcome of constant learning, negotiating and adjusting.” “This is what you want to tell me? Nothin’ for nothin’ but it’s a little heavy for a little chat with a dog at 3:30 in the morning.” “In a nut shell, yeah.” It was hard to accept this from my beagle. I mean, he’s a dog; a sleeping, eating, sniffing, crapping dog. I was chalking this whole episode up to stress. I was apparently snapping. “That’s it. I’m pretty much done. Just one last thing while I have the chance.” “What? World hunger? String theory?” I asked sarcastically. “You get the right alpha humans and the world hunger thing will take care of itself, smart ass. As far as string theory, who do you think I am, Hawking? I’m just a dog. No it’s more pedestrian than that, something I think you can manage.” “Then what, already?” I asked impatiently. “You know that thing you do occasionally where you empty the dish washer in the buff.” “Ummm … yeah I guess.” “Put some clothes on. It’s disturbing. I’m beggin’ ya, please!” “All right, but only if you lick your privates in private.” “I’ll see what I can do. No promises.” “So this is it? No more talking? You know we could make a fortune on Letterman with his stupid pet tricks.” “It’ll never happen. You see, this is a one time deal. Not sure why or how this is happening. Maybe that God guy is involved somehow. All I know is that when it is done, it is …” He abruptly stopped talking. “Parker?” Not a grunt. He yawned and as he did he stretched his front legs out and spread across the foot of the bed, his ears resting flat on the blanket. “Parker … are you done? Is that it?” He slowly closed his eyes and floated off to sleep. “Parker … just like that?” He began to twitch; in hot pursuit of a fox I imagined. “Holy smokes. I must be dreaming myself.” I curled back down under the safety of my covers, scratched my butt and thought about the conversation I had just had with Parker or myself or both. I sniffed the air. It smelled fine to me. What the heck was he talking about, ‘danger in the air’? It had to be a dream. As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about getting a real job real soon, apparently this writing stuff was getting the best of me. I also made a point to remember to talk to the owners of that crazy cairn terrier. I thought it was the least I could do. 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I don’t know how people raise daughters because I have 2 sons. In my in-sanest moments, I have thought about having a daughter and have entertained thoughts about rushing into Toys’Rus straight to the Barbie doll section. My preoccupation with daughters is short-lived. Then I become sane all over again – I must be out of my mind thinking about having another child! No way, it’s totally, absolutely, positively, undoubtedly out of the question. I do love babies. Oh, how I do love them. Pinching cheeks is not one of my favorite things to do an infant but I sure do love the feel of their feathery skin that is layered with fine, fine hair. I can’t resist touching their bums like a lunatic. I am quite sure daughters are fun. Sometimes I watch other mothers fuss with their daughter’s hair and I look at Joshua and Jared and think to myself, “You think daddy will still love them if I leave their hair long so that I can tie them in braids and put ribbons on them?” My sons are pretty pretty, if I do say so myself but I don’t think they’d like me to dress them up as girls. I tried. Dressing my boys as girls Joshua already knows the difference between girls and boys – after the countless number of times we’ve broached the topic, how could he NOT know??? The times when we laughed till we were rolling around in unabashed nakedness in the bathroom because he thought I dropped my penis? Classic case of sex education gone folly. Jared, in the meantime, kept lifting up the skirt to see where the pant is one time I dressed him up as a Cinderella. I guess, it’s not going to work. My confusion and problem on dealing with little girls started when I realized that I don’t know how to buy pretty dresses and fancy head gears for girls. Mind you, although I DO have a critical eye out for fashion faults, I am not a very good dresser. I prefer the slip-on-and-go-and-don’t-feel-like-I-am-wearing-anything-at-all types of clothes. If I had to insomuch as zip, button, snap-on, clasp or buckle anything, I’d feel like dressing was too much of an effort. Naturally, being the ‘casual dresser’ that I am (my family members refer to it as ‘sloppy’ but I object), I find myself in a mental maze whenever I have to buy gifts for girls. And in this month itself, there are two. One is for my 9-year-old cousin (being 32 this year, I have a pre-puberty cousin? Yes, I do. So, sue me) and another is for my niece, who’s turning 3 this month. Birthday present problem For my cousin, I was thinking about buying soft toys because it’s hard to go wrong with soft toys. I mean, doesn’t everybody adore soft toys anymore? But no, I decided against it. I went into the clothes department to get her some fairy costumes, a princess crown or glass slippers, whatever! But it occurred to me that I didn’t know how to pick out female clothing at all. Then, I jogged myself into the stationery department, thinking of getting her a school bag. Boy, a school bag? How boring can I be? So, off I go again, into the books department this time. And I got her something that I don’t know whether she will like or not – but I am quite sure it’s hard to go wrong with books. Furthermore, I know I would have loved to get books as a present if I was still 9-years-old. Granted the fact that I was a major bookworm at that time. It’s even worse for my 3-year-old niece – I went from one department to another, shopping mall to shopping mall for days on end. Up till today, I come home empty-handed, wide-eyed and clueless. What in the world do you buy for a 3-year-old girl who already has everything she can ever wish for? “Bah!” to girls. Tackling Another thing that bothers me is that I tend to be a little….erm….adventurous and wild with my kids. They’re boys, so, they naturally like to roughhouse a little and jump, hop, skip, run, hide, scare….tackle each other. And being a good mom, that’s precisely the kind of games that I play with them. I tackle them to the ground, wrestler-fashion, knocking my knuckles into their skull, digging my fingernails into their backs and sides, biting into the butts, pushing their heads into pillows….. When my nieces come into the room and take one look at the kind of games that we’re playing with each other, they have 2 different reactions. One, they gape at us. Two, they want to join us but is afraid to. I remember playing the roughhousing game with one of my nieces, throwing her up in the air the way I throw Jared. She went stiff like a baseball bat in the air and when I caught her back into my arms, she looked like she was going to barf! Her face was green and her lips suddenly had cracks on them. I gingerly placed her back on the floor and she sped out of the room. As for having a daughter, forget about it. I’ll stick with my two monsters and continue with our snarling and growling activities until they decide that they want to play Barbie with their girlfriends. I will continue to enjoy my boys….until next year rolls around.